I found myself at a Malawian bridal shower. It was bonkers, good fun, and hours long. If somebody who happens to be familiar with Malawian bridal showers ever stumbles upon this description, I would appreciate their filling in my many knowledge gaps and correcting my incorrect assumptions. In the meantime, here’s what I took in.
Different women were invited to speak, to deliver life advice to the couple getting married (though it seemed to be more directed to the bride). Topics included ‘grooming and cleanliness’, ‘living a good Christian life’ and ‘communication in the marriage’. Unfortunately, it was only the titles that were in English, and the actual talks in Tumbuka, so I was unable to garner any of the much-needed advice on adult-ing for myself.
Every time a woman was announced to give her talk, a possy of random other women, presumably that person’s closer crew, accompanied her up to the front, dancing all the way. Whilst dancing, everyone threw 50 Kwacha notes into a basket.
The whole event was basically a massive fundraiser for the wedding. People could go up to a counter at the side and have their larger notes changed into 50s (so you could give 1000 Kwacha, about £1, and get it changed into 20 x 50 Kwacha, about 5p each). It’s just like getting your change at the arcade!
The dance sessions were continuous. They began before the bride and groom to-be had even made their entrance. I couldn’t suss much rhyme or reason as to when you were supposed to go up for a dance, you just made your way forward at random times, had a boogie, and chucked your money at everyone dancing. Lots of the notes missed the basket and landed on the ground, which the younger bridesmaid-type-girls scooped up.
At another point, the bride and groom walked through the audience and tapped people. It seemed to be they were tapping their friends and family, as opposed to the other general people from the community they didn’t know so well. These people all then went forward for yet another mass shake-it session.
The compare was a loud woman with a mic and a fancy wedding hat. She repeatedly barked “Mr. DJ!” to order him to stop, while she or somebody else spoke, and then to play again for the dancing parts.
Once the bride and groom had arrived, dancing their way up the aisles, they sat in throne like chairs on the stage facing us, each with a friend beside them (Maid of Honour / Best Man?). The bride’s friend re-powdered her face at regular intervals, as it is was 5 zillion degrees in the hall, and holding about the same number of people. The mother of the bride sat on the front row in a bright blue dress.
The stage was lined with household items, decorated with ribbons as gifts. Bins, washing up bowls and dining sets. At first I thought these were wedding presents, (awkward – everyone’s got them the same thing!) but they turned out to be gifts for guests. I think either a sort of raffle prize, or for those who had donated larger amounts in advance. But of course, they’re not just handed out, but are given over the elaborate dance-off, cash-chucking routine. I love the ingenuity of cajoling everyone to donate money through this fun routine, definitely a fundraising tip to take home!
The bride would come down from her chair, get low with a washing up bowl, then hand it to the recipient. It tickled me to see one group of women all receiving washing-up bowls dancing about waving these in the air.
The bride / groom didn’t smile a whole lot nor hold hands, but they did whisper to one another and were occasionally up to dance. The whole thing actually looked like it must be exhausting, but a necessary way to raise funds for the big day!
I hope they have a very happy marriage, and that when they look back through the bridal shower photos in years to come, they aren’t too troubled by wondering what the random muzungo (white person) who can’t move her hips was doing at their party.
Natasha Self 